A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”
The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”
Wrong email address:
A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.
Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
Will’s experience at the airport:
After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.
She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.
Then she asked Will, “Has your plane arrived yet?”
Clever kids:
A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.
One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.
A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.”
A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading “TIPS” and a bucket at his feet full of change.
A funny story involving a cop and two ladies:
There was this car that was driving very slowly down the highway. A state trooper pulled it over.
“What did I do wrong, officer?” the driver asked.
“You were going 26 MPH on a major highway, there is a law against that. You must go at least 50 MPH.”
“But when I got onto the highway, the sign said 26!”
“That is because this is Interstate 26! The 26 isn’t the speed limit!”
The driver leaned back into her car seat and the cop saw another woman sitting beside her, she looked as pale as a ghost.
“What happened to her?’ the officer asked.
“I don’t know, but she has been that way ever since we got off the interstate 160.”
Boss :
A man carrying two huge suitcases to meet with a circus boss to apply for a job. The boss asked:
“What do you know?”
The man took out some big stones from one of the suitcases, threw the stones high in the air and used his head to catch the stones.
The boss nodded. Great. What is in the other suitcase?
“Painkiller!”
A college student is deeply in love with his classmate but he doesn’t know what to do to get the girl’s attention.
One day, he came to ask the girl for help with his assignments and the girl agreed.
Happily, he came to sit next to the girl the next day and took out a book pretending to read.
After a little while, the girl asked: “You must be a genius. How can you read a book upside down?”
The teacher asks Jimmy:
Teacher: “Jimmy, why aren’t you writing?”
Jimmy: “I don’t has a pencil.”
Teacher: “Jimmy, that’s not a correct sentence. The correct way is: I don’t have a pencil; he doesn’t have a pencil; we don’t have a pencil.”
Jimmy: “Who stole all the pencils then?”
Two young boys’ conversation:
Johnny: “What makes the baby at your house cry so much, Tommy?”
Tommy: “If all your teeth were out, your hair off, and your legs so week you couldn’t stand on them, I guess you’d feel like crying yourself.”
Count :
Teacher: “Let me hear how far you can count.”
Eugene: “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king.”
3 Men :
3 men died and went up to heaven. The guy at the gate said “The better you were to your wife, the better kind of car you’ll get.”
The first guy was very loyal to his wife and got a Ferrari. The second man fought with his wife so he got a broken down car. The last guy cheated on his wife dozens of times so he got a scooter.
One day the guy on the scooter saw the guy in the Ferrari crying. He asked him, “Why are you crying?”
He answered, “I just saw my wife on roller skates.”
The Thief :
At night, a thief came in and stole a madman’s tv and dvd. On geting out of d house, d madman wakeup and chase d thief.
Afta 2 hrs race, d thief gave up, he start pleading but d madman replied ~Dont worry, i wanted to give you d remotes~
Jesuse Christ :
A drunkard stammers out of a bar and ran into 2 priests. He ran up to dem and says, ~ I’m Jesus Christ~. The priests reply ~No son, you are not.
The drunk says, ~Look, i can prove it~ and walk back into d bar with d priests. The bartender takes a look at d drunk and exclaim, ~Jesuse Christ, you are here again?
That is why I’m crying :
There was a couple sleeping. The wife had a bad dream, she woke up scared and cried.
Her husband comforted her and asked why she cried, she replied: “I had a dream that a very rich and handsome man kidnapped me from you.”
Husband: “It is ok honey, it was just a dream.”
Wife responded loudly: “That is why I’m crying.”
Wrong Number :
There was a couple…the lady was very talkative and she kept talking with people on the phone hour after hour when she is alone at home.
End of everymonth they used to get a massive telephone bill and the husband was so worried on this.
One day they were dining at the table and the phone rang..
The lady’s reaction was immediate…she ran to the phone and started chatting..
After about 30-min she hang up and came back to the table.
The husband was happy that she hang up in 30 min which was a good sign where she normally doesn’t hung up at least for 2-hours. So he happily inquired…was she busy to hang up so early???
No..it was a wrong number.. replied the lady..
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